The Good, the Bad and the Truth about Love and Technology

May 16, 2014

There are very few people in America that don't have a cell phone, a computer or even a tablet.  The technology of knowledge, communication and exploration has reached new levels just in the past three years!  Heck, I didn't have a cell phone until college and it had a long antennae and a grey and yellow screen with real buttons!  My kids are like..."Hey mom, how did you cook back in your day without microwaves?", I usually make a witty response such as..."Well I went and hunted game, roasted over a fire and ate all it's parts.  I think we should try it tonight!" and that usually scatters the room and quiets my humiliation of being apart of typewriters, rotary phones and paper tablets. 

 

However, when love and dating is concerned, there is a good and a bad side to all devices.  Let's start with the bad...

 

1. Smart Phones have actually taken away verbal and face to face communication for many and have given the introverted even more ways to be more introverted!  Texting is now the major form of talking which is short, can be taken out of context, assuming and eliminates inflection in voice, true emotion and well, speaking!  Dates are now completely being set up via text, and some singles don't even hear their dates voice until the first meeting after days of typing it all out. 

 

2. The internet is a battlefield.  Or is it love that's a battlefield?  Same difference with the way the couples spy on each other on social networks, look up ex's, Google each other and many other forms of privacy violation!  Not to mention the fights and resentment that can get conjured up over a Facebook post from Sally Lou "who you said you stopped talking to!!!" only to find out Sally Lou stalked and hacked into the account as a jilted lover gone haywire.  Oh the drama!

 

3.  It's way too accessible and addictive!  Dates are looking at their phones constantly, checking emails from work, replying during intimate moments with a LIVE person, answering and talking loudly oblivious to people or feelings around them, playing games that suck them in when family time is now gone and many other distractions that take away from quality relationships.  I was shocked and dismayed when I was on the dance floor and a circle of college guys just stood in a circle in the middle of everyone dancing, all on their phones in silence.  It was like the world around them was non-existent!  Including their dates!

 

So now that you know what not to do, here are some positive things about Technology!

 

1. Date ideas have never been easier to look up and woo your mate!  There are tons of blogs...heeeh emmm....cool websites, social posts and pins that show you how to be romantic, fun, charming, and all on your budget!  The romance and intimacy that is created by these ideas can then be recorded with fantastic photos off of your phone, video and then shared with each other later through romantic secret texts at work and love letter emails read on your tablet.

 

2. It's really hard to be bad!  With social media, friends of friends of friends knowing what you look like, and software to snoop, the days of having a PI can be widdled down to just seeing your mate's browsing history and a couple of clicks! Porn, cheating, and other icky stuff can be confronted, worked through and hopefully healed before it goes on too long and hurts too much.

 

3. The convenience of technology makes everything easier and helps make time for your love life in the present!  With automatic replies on emails when you are vacation, music you can plug in anywhere, e-wallets set up so you can leave your purse at home, GPS so you know how to get anywhere at anytime (no more fights about stopping for a map) alarms on your iCal so you don't forget that anniversary and so much more. 

 

When used the right way and in moderation technology can open the doors to a more intimate, creative and passionate relationship.  Just remember to stay away from the addictive stuff and life will be so much sweeter with your honey.

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