Sex & Love, From a Guy's Point of View...

June 7, 2014

So I was curious as to what a single guy has to say about sex and love from a healthy perspective.  There are so many negative indications out there that have tainted meaning or bias opinion so this is just an HONEST and real interview about sex and love...from a guy's point of view.

Age: 38

Occupation: Solar Software Sales

Name: "Pete" (this is not his real name)

Kat: "What would you do to keep the spark alive?

Pete:  " I would try different locations (to have sex) and be creative, add card games, dice, make up games of the sexual nature.  I would do different things for dates like go to the hot tubs or spa, try a dance class, read books about intimacy, read them out loud to my partner, just mix it up."

Kat: "When you think back on your best sexual experiences what special things do you marinate on?"

Pete:  " Feelings at that moment, the smell, surroundings, senses, what felt different such as touch, all the sensations.  I think back to my most amazing orgasms both giving together on the same level emotionally and physically connected."

Kat:  " Do you feel friendship changes the way sex feels?"

Pete: "When you are friends first there is a level of comfort, honesty and trust with security.  It's not some stranger, you know the limitations and can talk about boundaries, it's more relaxed and natural."

Kat: " Do you feel a special connection and if so usually at what point?"

Pete: " Yes, a connection is felt, it depends on the person at which point that is, but love is a major difference.  If you are in love you are looking into each other's eyes and very present in that moment."

Kat: " Do you think you should be yourself or put up a front to impress?"

Pete: " Be yourself because if your'e secure you should only be who you are for that person."

Kat: "How important do you think sex is in a relationship and why?"

Pete: "I think sex for guys is the emotional connection and for women it may be different.  They seem to need the intellectual conversation to have an emotional connection first then they bond with sex.  I think to have that closeness sex is important for staying connected."

Kat: "If your partner wants sex early on in dating do you lack respect for them?"

Pete: "No, not necessarily, it depends on the person again.  I think it can be disrespectful if the guy only wants sex and therefore that person is being disrespected."

Kat: " What are the first things guys do to spur on sex?"

Pete: " (chuckling..lots of chuckling) Well, uhh, subtle touching, lots of compliments, some guys try to put on a front like they are hard to get, a little reverse psychology.  (I laugh here)  Romantic music, you dress to impress, a more sensual movie or a scary one so we can save the day."

Kat: " What do you do to keep the connection after the honeymoon stage is over and you are now in routine?"

Pete: " Go on road trips, those are essential for getting out and away from everything as well as meeting new people, seeing new things.  Getting out of the comfort zone, it's important to step out of the mundane existence as well as do things with friends apart so you miss each other and have more to talk about.  It's good to miss each other a bit.  But definitely doing things together too, making memories and bonding that way."

Kat: " What turns you on about a partner?"

Pete: " Confidence, comfortable with their sexuality, experiments in exploring open ideas, spontaneous, without fear.  And curves, I like curvy women. "

Additional Comments:

Pete: " Sex has evolved for me from when I was younger because of experience and listening to my partner.  When you get your partner involved and communicate it makes the experience so much better and rewarding for both people."

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