Itching to Let Them Go? Tips on how to break it off.

October 24, 2014

It doesn't always work out.  You can try and try and try and sometimes, what you want isn't good for either of you. 

 

You look at them and they only evoke feelings such as sadness, loss, anger, resentment...you have tried it all and it isn't getting better.  Life is moving fast around you and you are stuck in slow motion trying to get the courage to break it off.

 

We know how tough this is and the only way to heal and move on is to go through with it and be strong.  So here are some tips to help you ease them off softly but with the strength to end it for good.

 

1. Always do it in person and at a public place. 

It is not good to break up over the phone, over text message or at your home.  They can refuse to leave, cause a scene, try some stupid stuff to try and get you not to break up with them and it is easier for both of you if one person (you mostly) can get up and walk away.  If it is a long distance relationship the phone is the next best thing to breaking up in a personal manner.

 

2. Be honest and open with your feelings.

Never say, "It's not you it's me..", that cliché will only piss them off.  Tell them truthfully how you have come to this decision, how the tries are not working as a whole and you don't think either of you are happy when there isn't a loving connection anymore.  Describe your feelings with understanding and looking at it from their perspective.  Try not to be blaming, hurtful or vicious.  This is going to hurt both of you even if you were ready for it a long time ago.

 

3. Be clear with what you want next

After you have told them the 'why' and 'how', it's time to talk about what you want next.  Things like, "I am moving out and getting my own place", "I want to be friends but I'm not interested in anything romantic anymore", "I can't see you or talk to you ever again, I need my space" are the types of phrases that set boundaries and expectations for what comes next.

 

4. Say Farewell

At this point you have heard their side and know if you want to try again or if you are truly done.  When you come to that point that it's not making you a better person, then you say farewell.  You get up and say "I'm moving on and I want you to find happiness too." Even if they are a hysterical mess, you walk away and take your deep breaths and remember that they have to find someone else to go to now.  Holding a string, letting them lean on you, still trying to be a help will only lead them on and confuse them.  It has to be done;  time and space need to happen for awhile to keep the intention clear.

 

Breakups are never easy but being with the wrong person making you sad is worse than moving on and repairing what became broken.  Life is too short for bad relationships.  Let go and be free.

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