5 Signs They Don't Hear "No" - How to stop the pursuit and a potential stalker.

November 20, 2014

You have been avoiding that one coffee shop, or that same corner market..the ones with the persistent pursuers that can't take a hint, refuse to listen, have no boundaries and just can't take "no" for an answer.  They are on the cusp of stalking and walk that fine line of being annoying and creepy. 

 

Here are the 5 signs that they are just not getting it and you need to STOP the pursuit before they start making you have panic attacks, insomnia or paranoia.

 

1. They know your schedule and "happen" to be in the same spot to meet and greet you all the time.

 

This is on the border of being a stalker and can completely warrant legal action if they are aggressive, pushy or harassing.  If you have to take that one bus, if you have to go to your job, if you have to get groceries at that market, then if you don't stand up for yourself and tell them to leave you alone, they might take it steps further.  Be firm and threaten legal action, or start bringing your body guard or large angry dog...just make sure you are safe, in the public and change up your routine often.

 

2. They call all your numbers even though you turned them down, and don't stop.

 

You have nicely declined, they took it badly, and now they won't stop calling.  You get calls at work, at your house, on your cell, at your folks house, etc. At this point they have made a point to find out all of your contact information and are persistent on not letting you 'leave them'.  At this point if you keep telling them to stop calling and it doesn't stop, then change your numbers, inform you boss of the harassment, report it and make sure you are writing down proof.  Be firm and let them know you are not interested EVER through your actions.

 

3. They internet stalk you on social media.

 

You keep getting messages in your Facebook account even though you are no longer friends, they keep trying to re-friend you, they follow you on every other social media site you are connected to and find ways to link to you or message you somehow.  This is a bit easier because you can block them on most sites, there is a lot of evidence with harassment on the internet if you want to press charges and you can notify all the sites you are a part of to beware of that individual.

 

4. They try to date all of your friends actually trying to get to you instead.

 

You start seeing them dating your social circle, acquaintances, classmates, co-workers, anyone who has a close connection to you in order to get more information and access to you.  They find ways to get into your friends heads and turn them against you, start talking poorly about your character and manipulating all of your connections so they can sneak in and let you know that they are all you have now.  Nip this in the bud immediately with contacting your friends that are communicating with them and let them know the situation.  Stand firm with close friends and family and let them know what is transpiring so they can be there for you and stop the manipulation.

 

5. They NEVER give up, even when you are dating someone else.

 

You are on a date and they show up at the restaurant casually to sabotoge your time, you step out of your house and they are standing there with flowers, you are at work and you are getting "love" mail sent to you from them, no matter how many times you say no they just try harder.  Your new relationship might be truly affected by this so if you don't take legal action make sure to keep records anyways, find ways to make sure to stand up to them in front of your date and let them know there is no chance, and be safe!

 

If you or if you know of anyone being aggressively pursued or potentially stalked, please reach out for help and take action!  Stalkers can turn ugly quickly and the most innocent of pursuits can change into a game of cat and mouse to the wrong person. CLICK HERE for the National Stalking Helpline Guide and contact information.

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