Forgiveness. For You. For Them. For a better future.

February 8, 2016

 

I can’t imagine not having forgiveness in my life.  It is the key to freedom, true freedom of the soul and being at peace with where you are today.  It can be very difficult to forgive, whether it is for yourself for something you have done, or for someone else who has done something to you.  Sometimes what has happened has consequences that are life altering, soul damaging, horrible and deep.  However, when the forgiveness key is finally used, it unlocks all the dark, depressing, bitter, wicked, poison that has been bottled up inside of you and lets the healing process finally begin.

 

The healing process, just like a scratch or a wound, cannot start to mend until the infection is gone.  Until all that dirty grossness is released, then the body cannot become a healthy whole again.  This is the same for our spirit, that when you let the past hurt stay and fester, creating a nasty wedge, then the healthy healing part is not going to come through and you will keep that dark spot effecting everything else in your life. 

 

It does not mean you forget, or that you don’t learn from the experience.  It does not mean that you won’t be wiser, or more intelligent with your choices.  It means you become wiser, you move on to better possibilities, you don’t make the same mistakes again, and you surround yourself with healthy boundaries, positive energy and nurturing support.

 

 

 

Here are some ways to help you move on to forgiveness.

 

To forgive yourself:

Sit in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eyes.  Tell yourself out loud that you ‘forgive YOU’ and that you are worth the effort, that you deserve to be at peace, and you can learn from your past.  Really mean it. 

 

To forgive someone else:

Write an old fashioned paper letter, with your own handwriting, forgiving that person for what they have done, releasing them from your life, removing them from your soul and letting the past go to live for TODAY.

You can mail this, you can hand deliver it, or you can burn it in the fireplace.

 

To forgive yourself:

Start positive affirmations like post-its on your mirror saying ‘you are a better person’, ‘today will be different’, ‘love your soul today’, etc.  There are window markers you can use, special places you visit often in your house to place these, and many words you can say to yourself to affirm your new perspective!

 

To forgive someone else:

Start a journal, an art journal or seek out a help group where you can vent what has happened to you, how you feel about it, why you want to forgive them, and what it will feel like when you are free from the hurt.  Visualize or draw out who you want to be when you are free from the pain, and seek out to be that person everyday.

 

 

Sexual relationships require a dose of forgiveness as well and the past can come and haunt you in the bedroom even if you think you have stuffed it down and away far enough to not think about it.  It could be a certain touch, a trigger word, an action or the way you are positioned that can bring a flash back in, a painful memory or a sensitive spot that can hurl you into a fight.  Talk it out, identify what set you off, realize it isn’t them but what you haven’t forgiven from the past and work together to heal and mend that part of you that needs a new set of eyes.

 

It is a journey to forgive and does happen, but with patience and healthy practice.  When you love yourself enough to forgive, your relationships will be softer, you will be more merciful and graceful to your partner when hard times come, you will see why you are acting out when it could be a reflection of your past and you can heal that part of you to have a better future with a healthier look on life. 

 

If you need more support and help with this process we are here to bring you into that light life, the one where the heaviness of pain has been lifted!  Give us a call for a free consultation and we will be here, to listen and to give you the tools to succeed.

 

(860) 952.9070

Please reload

Featured Posts

Friends Balance Your Love Life - Take a Recess

April 17, 2019

1/10
Please reload

Recent Posts

November 30, 2016

October 31, 2016

Please reload

Search By Tags
Please reload

Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • b-facebook
  • b-tbird

© Copyright Sex & Love Therapy 2020
All Rights Reserved