Being true to who you really are is something that many people can do from day one. Others, it takes age, wisdom and just time to gain the confidence to truly let your colors shine. In a relationship it matters the most, because if you can't be yourself with your partner, then it really isn't worth the time and effort to stay with them. Trying to change for the better is one thing, but if they can't accept you for who you are at your best, or give you the support and love to grow, then they are holding you back and you are changing to please them instead of remembering that you are unique for a reason.
So when are you able to see these red flags? The ones that say, 'RUN AWAY!' before you get too sucked in? Here are some warning signs and ways to understand why...
1. They are controlling.
When you find yourself always being told what clothes to wear, how to do your hair, how to clean you dishes, what you can and cannot do, what friends to have, etc....then you are being controlled. Being yourself means you get to make independent decisions on what is best for YOU. You have your own way of doing things and that is what they are supposed to LOVE about you, not try to dictate.
2. They take over parenting.
This is another branch of control, but it carries into taking away your ability to have a voice and help raise your children. When they are always making the decisions, creating the boundaries, setting up the rules, planning all their activities, etc, without consulting you or creating a good co-parenting role, then you are sacrificing yourself and not being true to what you want for your family.
3. Your dreams are sacrificed.
Being true to your calling is knowing what you want in a career, in a home, and as a future. When your partner starts to sacrifice your goals, your ambitions and your dreams first while changing them to mold it into what they think is better or more 'suitable' for you, then you are also sacrificing what you want and your own happiness.
4. Just say no.
Sometimes you think that if you just go along with it then the conflict will go away, the anger will subside and the tension will resolve itself. Instead, it just keeps building up and you end up using other means to help you cope with not being able to stand up for yourself. You can say NO! You can protect your true self, stand up for what you believe in, and give your own soul the needed TLC you deserve by just saying no and taking back your respect. No, is a powerful word and it is OKAY to use it!
5. Let your freak flag fly.
Don't be ashamed of your silliness, your playful nature, your strange jokes, your bizarre taste in food, your fashion, the way you walk, how you like your coffee, WHATEVER! Really embrace your habits, your personality traits, your vices, your true soul. If you are with the right person, they will love you for WHO YOU ARE, and you will be able to become a BETTER person with them by your side. You were made to be unique and with or without baggage, they should love the whole package.