Sometimes, you just have to go with your gut.
What does this mean exactly? We all have keen observation when we want to tune into our intuition. There are signs everywhere that we read, then we get the message. Sometimes the message is that you need to find a new job, or that you are ready for a child, or that you need to change your style...and sometimes the messages tell you that there is something off with your partner.
When you think that he or she is hiding something, concealing the truth, lying, omitting facts, manipulating the truth, being evasive, whichever you want to call it, then there are signs that lead up to that moment and then...it's time to talk!
1. They don't meet your eye contact.
If you partner has always looked you in the eyes, has had a connection with you during conversation and has been open, then all of the sudden they are avoiding your gaze, that can be a sign. Looking away when they say something specific, darting their eyes around, looking at the floor, or their hands, could all be a way of them not wanting to show the 'smoke' or that what they are saying may not be the truth.
2. Awkward body language.
Another sign that they may be hiding something is that they start to fidget with their hands, objects, their clothes, their hair, or they turn their body away from you, cross their arms over their chest, or hunch down and away from you. These are all body signals that they are not open, comfortable or at ease with the conversation.
3. Missing in action.
If your partner all of the sudden is working much later, has secret phone conversations in another room, leaves early for outings they don't fill you in on, or do not touch you or try to make contact with you in bed, or at all when you used to be affectionate, this could signal that they are detaching or distancing themselves from the connection you have.
Many of these signs could just be a way of being alone, or of dealing with an issue that they don't feel ready to share with you. Some could mean something more hurtful that they can't admit or confess. It could also mean that they are planning a surprise party and are having a hard time concealing it!
If you feel like you are seeing these signals, and your gut is telling you it isn't who they are, or anything innocent, then try to have a conversation with them. Point out the signs that you are seeing and be honest and genuine in your concern. Try not to accuse or assume anything, but let them know their behavior is unnatural and it hurts your feelings because you feel like they are hiding something. If you cannot come to a place where you can both talk about it, reach out to us! We can help you find a safe and comfortable place to let it out and work through it.