So you have sex, and it's just a-okay. It becomes a chore, more of a comfortable thing that you ought to do in a relationship but nothing that gets you spinning for the rest of the day. Do you remember when you made love and you kept getting visions of it - flashbacks, or 'aftershocks' from your earth-quaking romp? What happened? Have you tried everything, did the spark go out, is stress causing you to disengage?
Sometimes when we get distracted, tired, or bored sex can just become one of those mundane things you do to either satisfy the other person's need or you just need to know you are a normal couple. If sex has become void and you don't even feel like doing it, then there is a breakdown in emotional connection and in your libido. Sometimes it comes down to a health issue where you don't feel good doing it, maybe it hurts or something is off. Sometimes it has to do with being too busy and not being able to have quality time together or a needed break from the everyday routine.
Here are some key points to try if your sex life has become the dreaded chore...
1. Talk about it!
Be open in your communication and ask what is different, or express how you feel about it. Maybe you need to try some different positions or some different ways of going about it like tantra, tools, toys or role playing! Maybe your partner is hiding something and the sex is distracted, or stress is causing them to be unresponsive. Talk it out and get to the bottom of the core issue.
2. Medical stuff..
If you feel like something is off, there is pain involved or you are not feeling pleasure, go to your doctor and get checked out! Find out why you are uncomfortable and get it fixed! Whether you just need more lube, medication, a different position or to drink more water...find out the reason so you can feel pleasure again!
3. Get creative and explore..
Many times couples have yet to hit all the 'buttons'! There are many sweet spots on your body and in your body that create more orgasms, deeper orgasms, and body shaking tremors! There are places you can explore gently with each other to see how it feels, and communicate if it feels good, or if it is a no go. Then you can explore different amounts of pressure, rubbing or teasing in that area. Maybe more nibbling on the neck, nipple play or glute grabbing is that extra touch that puts you over the edge.
If the relationship is healthy and you just need some change, try out these suggestions and see how it goes! If there are deeper issues that you can't overcome, please give us a call and we will help you work it out to make sure your sex life is your love life too, so that you are happy once again.