Finding your Role and the Roles we Play

August 25, 2016

 

When you are talking about 'role playing', that could mean many different things...like a nurse outfit and a "sick patient" getting some fun and sexy attention, or the roles we play in the household with our partners.  When you play a role, it could mean you are playing the "naughty librarian", or we could mean playing housewife while your husband is the bread-winner.  There can be many roles or titles, but the ones we want to talk about are the ones you fit in for a healthy relationship!

 

1. The Valued Supporter

Roles in the household include equal parts of give and take so that you both feel fulfilled and valued.  When you support the other person in their role, then they feel validated and important.  Whether finances permit only one or two income roles, parental roles, etc. it is good to talk about what is comfortable, needed and fair for each of you to be happy while getting things done!

 

2. The Contributor

Contributing in the relationship could mean that you are bringing home the green stuff, making all the meals, doing your share of the chores, taking on the main role in parenting, etc.  Contributing something important is a necessity for each person to feel respected, to not become overwhelmed, and to do the best job they can at what they are best at.

 

3. The Power Tripper

This is when the roles can become unbalanced and the person who earns the most money, controls the finances and uses that as a way of control or power over the other person.  This is an unhealthy and unfair attitude to have and communication should be open and loving with respect for the other person.

 

4. The Mooch

Another negative role is the partner that drains the other person of attention, money, energy and does it in an unbalanced way that leaves the other person feeling used, unappreciated and overworked while not having a balanced relationship.

 

5. The Traditionalist

This is when you are forced into set roles either based on sex, old fashioned rules of the house, religion, or by customs.  These are established on a basis that both people are okay with the roles, agree on their parts and understand that the relationship is traditional for a reason.  However...if someone chooses to change, evolve into someone else, gets tired of these roles and wants something different, it is up to you as a couple to understand their feelings and work through a compromise so that you are both happy!

 

And don't forget to do a little 'role playing' once in a while too! ;)

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