Do you depend solely on your partner for your happiness? Does your day fall or rise depending on how they treat you, text you, talk to you, plan with you, etc.? Do you feel like your moods depend on how the day or night goes with your partner? Well we have news for you...this is NOT true happiness.
Happiness comes in the form of doing things for YOURSELF that depend on YOU. Sure, being in a healthy relationship, having a best friend as a partner, loving your days or nights with them, or simply acts that they do for you can ADD to your happiness...but should not be the whole reason you are happy.
So how do you become happy as an independent person? This means that you should be OKAY with or without someone by your side. That your life is complete, but any person that raises you up, adds to your life, or supports what you are already doing, makes it that much nicer.
When you depend on a person to create happiness for you, they will ALWAYS fail. Yes, always. People are not perfect; they can barely satisfy their own life goals let alone have another person's hopes and dreams on their shoulders as well. As a team you can accomplish plenty, have life goals together, plan and have dreams, but it should not rip your world a part if they have a bad day and cannot fill you up, solve all of your problems or heal all of your wounds for you.
Let's practice some ways you can detach from the dependency of your partner, and start making yourself a positive light, all on your own!
1. Fill yourself up right!
Instead of waiting and wanting your partner to boost your battery, go and charge it up on your own! What do you love to do that makes you feel alive? Is it running, art, journaling, yoga, meditation, music, and time with your friends? Find the LOVE in your heart that is for yourself and feed that part of you that is lacking.
2. Heal it up properly!
Depending on your partner to heal your past is not fair and most likely will not be productive. If you have past wounds, issues, baggage, etc... go to a professional and work it out properly. Find a great counselor, go to couple's counseling, find a self-help book, watch videos, or do all of it! The more you heal on your own and solve your core issues, the better ALL of your relationships will be.
3. Spread the load out!
Talking to your friends, your family and people you trust as well as your partner, spreads out the 'venting' and gives you different perspectives on your problems, your concerns or your reactions. It is good to be open-minded, have positive feedback, and listen to advice that is wise and can help you grow!
4. Speaking of Growing...
Growth is difficult and challenging but well worth it! Find a class, a retreat, a seminar, or something that has a 'teacher' or a 'speaker'. When you grow in ways that are adjoining to your soul you feel fulfilled, accomplished and enlightened. It is important for us to grow so that we feel complete and have self worth. It will make you a well-rounded person and give you a sense of joy.
5. Find the target!
What is TRULY making you UNHAPPY? Is it your body, your job, your childhood, your negative friends,...? Find the root of your unhappiness and try to make it better! You can voice this to your partner for support but try ways of fixing it with the people who are trained to! If you don't like your body, go to the gym and get a trainer! If you feel drained by your friends, find new positive ones! If you haven't forgiven your parents for your past hurts, find someone to talk to and work on forgiveness. These things are SO important for your future happiness and will make your partner soar with pride that you are now fulfilled.
For more information on Sex and Love Therapy counseling sessions, visit our website and book your free consultation so we can help you start the road of happiness today!