Relationships are hard, yet rewarding when all is well and things are going great. However, when they are not going so great and you are going down a tunnel with no light at the end, it can feel hopeless and devastating. Many times we blame the other person, always being defensive, always needing to be right, or just fed up with the fight. That is when it is good to look inward, or even in the mirror and see what you can change first before you give up completely.
1. Listen and write down responses and questions instead of interrupting.
Instead of yelling, interrupting, getting defensive or overrunning the conversation, try getting a pad of paper and a pencil and agree to have 'turns' getting out what you need to without saying a word. When you have a response, write it down calmly and wait until they are done. Count to ten, read over what you had to say, and respond in a LOVING way, in a RESPECTFUL way and take your time with your words. They must go by the same rules, so that you learn again to work things out, remembering there are words you can CHANGE to grow instead of hurt.
2. Approach your partner with an open heart and an open mind.
When you are listening, are you truly being open? Do you see this person as someone you care about, that you want to be happy just as much as you do? Do you see what they are saying from their perspective? One of the things that keeps us distant is always looking to please ourselves, focus on our needs, and we stop seeing our relationship as a partnership in friendship. This person is your closest friend, how would you treat your friends...how do you want your friends to treat you? Stay open and see CHANGE in the way you approach them again.
3. Be thankful and remember that everyday could be your last with them.
Do you really want it to end? Do you think, 'Hey, I would be fine if I never saw them again'...or is that something that you really don't want to happen? These are the questions that either make you thankful they are in your life, appreciative of what they have been for you, or you are just so empty you can not handle any more giving out. These are the moments when you want to be grateful for them in your life, that each day is precious and you are given another one to make a CHANGE in how you love one another, or you move on.
We are here to help! Please fill out the free consultation form, email, call or visit our offices. We know it is hard but love is stronger and with the right tools, CHANGE can happen for you too.